


In love with all of you

by Mindovermatter



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, POV First Person, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 00:49:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21347548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mindovermatter/pseuds/Mindovermatter
Summary: Buck pines over Eddie but then he comes over and makes the pining stop.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 4
Kudos: 155





	In love with all of you

I hated when I had days off. I always spent them desperately trying to come up with something to do, so I could create myself a life outside of work like everyone had been suggesting. I could never come up with anything. Not anything I wanted to do alone at least. Everything I thought of involved Chris or Eddie or most preferably both.

I knew I needed to get a grip on myself and quit depending on them both so much. I was just supposed to be a friend that helped out with everything once in a while. Not someone who they helped out just by being there. Definitely not someone who felt completely lost and painfully alone without their company. That was new, dangerous territory. And I had no idea what to do with it. 

By this point I knew I was most likely irrevocably in love with my best friend but that didn't mean anything was any easier. I wasn't lying to myself anymore, but it didn't feel as relieving as I had hoped it would. Everything had been better, or simpler at least, when I had repressed these feelings. We could be close, without me overthinking it. Now I allowed myself to feel his presence. To crave more of it. He deserved better than that. He didn't need me to pine over him like this. I wish I could help it. 

Being best friends was enough. But my dreams consisted of so much more. I wanted everything.

I was in the middle of overthinking like I always do when I'm alone, when suddenly I heard my phone go off.

I didn't care that it was pathetic of me to smile so widely when I saw who was calling.

"Hey Eddie, what's up?"

"My shift just ended and Christopher is spending the evening with abuela so I wondered if you wanted to do something?"

Ahh, hell yeah. This day just got a whole lot better.

"Absolutely, what did you have in mind?"

"I could just come there?", he said before continuing "unless you have something more exciting up your sleeve."

It was the way he said _exciting_, that made me think of something too _exciting_. It wasn't the time for that though. Couldn't blow my cover, had to keep my cool.

"Nah I think I'll settle for your _boring_ suggestion."

I was lying. Nothing could be boring with him. We could sit in silence for hours and the tension, the energy between us would keep me on my toes, making me feel like every part of me was on fire. He had that effect.

•••

There was a knock at the door and I was there to open it in seconds. At the risk of sounding cliché, the sight of him, made me feel like heaven existed and he was an angel before me.

"Hey", he said as if he knew what I was thinking. Of course he couldn't so I didn't stop to worry. I wasn't, I hadn't been, that obvious.

"Hey, how was your day? Anything interesting happen at the firehouse?"

"No not at the firehouse, but on call yeah", he said, stopping there.

"Oh come on, you knew what I meant."

He just smirked at me like he enjoyed teasing me. I wondered if he'd be like that in bed too. And then I mentally slapped myself. Dirty bastard.

"Go on please."

•••

After he had finished telling me about his day and asked me about mine, we agreed to order pizza and just watch TV on my couch. We'd done this many times before, but for some reason, it felt different today.

It always felt almost too comfortable to be with him, until we touched and I remembered that I shouldn't get too comfortable. I didn't know what I was allowed to do, with secret more-than-friendly feelings clouding my judgement. I had forgotten how friends were supposed to act around each other. Or maybe I had never learned, never known. I'd never really had close friends. Never a real life-partner either. Eddie somehow, already felt like both. Well, at least he could be. If I was ever granted a miracle, he'd be both. For forever.

"You know Christopher said the sweetest thing to me yesterday", Eddie started suddenly, making me melt just with those words. His smile was audible in his voice, and so was his love for him. It made me love them both even more. Somehow I kind of hated him for that.

I made a noise to let him know he should continue what he was saying.

"We were talking about you and how much you've helped him with his nightmares and he said he's happy he has you. That we both have you."

That made me freeze in place.

"Uhm, I feel lucky to have you in my life too."

"So then when I didn't say anything to him in response, he said that he loved you and that he knew I did too and that it was okay", he continued as if this was something he needed to get out before he chickened out.

Then it was silent for a while. We just sat there, looking straight ahead, avoiding eye contact. It was as if we were on the brink of something monumental, and we were terrified to take the final step in case it fell apart on us. I could tell the feeling was mutual. Then he turned to me with a shy smile.

"Is that okay?" He asked, making me look at him in confusion.

"Is what okay?"

"That we love you. That I love you?"

"You love me?"

"Well yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell you", he said shaking his head as if he couldn't believe I didn't know.

I just stared at him mouth agape. I couldn't find it in myself to do anything. This wasn't a friendly "I love you". This was the kind I imagined him say in my dreams. This was the kind in which I meant the three words for him, in my mind.

"I understand if you-", he tried but I stopped him with a kiss I hoped would say more than my words could. 

It was everything I'd ever dreamed love would feel like. It was every cheesy line I'd ever heard about it. It was home and it was the fireworks. Something in me settled when another part of me flared up in a way it never had before. 

He tasted like every part of him felt like. Like unfair perfection. 

Safety, comfort, peace, passion, love, all that shit.

He was the first one to pull back. He looked up at me with a dazed expression and a satisfied smile on his face. I decided right then, that this was my absolute favourite smile of his. 

I already hoped I could see him like this for the rest of my life.

I hoped he saw that on my face, when I looked back at him. I was allowed to look at him like this now. No holding back. I'd make him feel my love for every part of it I'd ever hidden. Hopefully tonight.

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Much love.


End file.
